The results are in....

So Roberto and I ventured out to San Marcos for dinner last night. This is our favorite Mexican Restaurant :) I ate entirely too much, but enjoyed every bite! By the time I got home I was miserable. I had heart burn all night and finally began throwing up at 4am, not fun. Not fun, but better than lying in bed for hours with horrible heart burn. Anyways, this morning I was still pretty nauseated and called in to work and even considered changing my appointment. I thought for sure that the stomach bug going around the fam had finally reached me :(

So I had my test this morning and Robert and I waited all day for the results, and finally at 3:30 we got the news. POSITIVE!!! I still can't believe it. I was beyond positive that it would be negative b/c my cramps have been all too familiar for this time of the month. I was so sure that over the past couple of days I would start crying when I was by myself driving, not hysterical but upset for sure just thinking about the effect it would have on my Robby. But there we were at 3:30 looking at each other crying as we listened to the nurse tell us all the hormone levels (which I was too much in shock to even write down) and details, etc. We are just elated at this wonderful news. All of our dreams of being parents might actually come true.

Today I am week 4 and next Tuesday I will have more blood work, just to monitor the little gremlin and his/her feeding grounds. Oh, so I do remember the nurse said they like for my estrogen to be above 100 and mine is like 750-ish. Whoa!...I think :) Anyways, I can't remember the numbers, but she said all hormone levels are "fantastic". We like "fantastic"! Oh, so for the bad news, I have to continue the booty shots (progesterone oil) for the first 12 weeks! OUCH!!!! So I have 8 weeks left. My tush is gonna be like steel after all of this mess. It's times like these when I wish I could trade butts with Kim Kardashian, ya know, just for the pin pricking options :) In all seriousness...I think, this has all been so worth it. Just to get this wonderful news today has made all the stress and needles and hormones well worth it :) We're thrilled!

My goal now is to figure out what in the world to do about this indigestion...obviously my diet has to change or at least be fine tuned :) It is just going to take me a while to figure out what causes the indigestion...as of now Chili and Fajitas. I know this is probably a no-brainer for most of you out there, but I have always been able to pretty much eat whatever, whenever without a problem. I have never been able to eat red meat late at night or lots of sugar without having an upset stomach. Hmmm, any tips for preventing heartburn?

Transfer

So, Transfer is complete. When we went in the procedure room for the transfer, we were informed that the late bloomer split to a 2-cell embryo and then discontinued development and began to fragment. So we ended up with one "perfect" 5-day blast. Dr. Long did my transfer and he is pretty awesome. He said that they don't get any more perfect than this...I like "perfect".

He also said that my endometrium is beautiful, thanks to Miriam for pumping my butt full of progesterone at 5:30 sharp (interesting choice of words) everyday :)

They gave my a "snuggle bear because we care", that was just weird to me but I think Roxy will enjoy eating it.

We also received a list of symptoms that women often mistaken for pregnancy because of the other hormone injections. This made me laugh, because I could so hear people claiming to have pregnancy symptoms immediately after transfer, knowing that is sooooo unlikely.

The list of things that I CAN still do included normal household chores. I thought this to be a bit inappropriate, at least let me milk the "I need my rest" card for the next two weeks, but noooo! Just sayin, I think they should reconsider their list.

Overall it was such a cool experience. Seeing the picture of the embryo, having the doc tell us exactly what he was doing and why. He answered all of our questions and made us feel so comfortable and confident. Robert was in there with me the whole time, with his gown, mask and little shoe covers...I wish I would have thought to take a camera : /

So yeah, we are waiting, but will know by New Years! :D

Can I get an Upgrade???

Guess who just got upgraded to (2) embryos?!?!?!
Everything is still on for a Sunday morning transfer :)

Retrieval

So, only (4) eggs were retrieved. I am pretty disappointed with that number...but "it only takes one".


I received an update today from Janet and it looks like all four were mature, (1) has fertilized and is progressing so far and none fertilized abnormally, meaning there is still a chance for more of them to progress.

I will receive another update Friday and then "Transfer" is scheduled for 9:45 Sunday morning, if all continues to progress. We are very hopeful ;)

Retrieval Scheduled

Our plans changed a bit, We had an appointment Saturday in B'ham as scheduled, but then they wanted me back again on Sunday. not what I anticipated, which anyone that knows me, knows that when I have unexpected changes in my schedule I automatically go into a slight panic mode. Dramatic? YES!, but it is what is is. So Saturday I tried to relax by doing lots of therapeutic Christmas shopping :) This was good and bad, good because I was able to finally start knocking out my list of goodies to buy and bad because when it was time to go to a 4-hour church activity, I was already exhausted. Oh well, I managed and I'm glad I sucked it up and went to the party because it was great! Saturday night I FINALLY crawled into bed at 11:00 and while trying to review in my head what I needed to do the next day realized that HELLO! I forgot to pick up my perscription for antibiotics that Robert & I both were scheduled to start the next morning. I wasn't too worried because I knew that Walgreens was open 24-hours :) Too bad when I got to the drive-thru I was informed that the prescription had not been called in...RRRGGGHH!!! So I drove home, in the rain, 1/2 asleep, 1/2 stressed and 100% pissed at myself for forgetting something so important until the last minute. Luckily at my appointment the next morning they called it in and we started as soon as we got home...

...Am I rambling??? Oh well...

...Anyways, bright and early at my Sunday appointment we were informed that lefty was more productive than earlier thought, with two immature follis and one that was hiding out, but measuring mature! This increased our numbers to six measuring mature and 3 that might mature before retrieval :) Let me just say that size is important, but estrogen levels are another HUGE part of it. For each mature follicle your estrogen should be between 150 and 200-ish. The minimum measurements for retrieval are (2) 1.8cm and (2) 1.4cm. I had (2) over 2cm, (2) 1.8 +/- and (2) slightly over 1.4cm. We are thrilled at the results. I was pretty pesimistic going into this and after reading others posts online and comparing my results to theirs, became convinced that I would not even retrieve... I soon learned that I cannot compare my results to others. Each individual truly is different and responds differently to meds, etc. I am soooo glad that this cyst did not cause problems as far as pain or cancellation of my cycle. Did I mention that this doesn't seem real. I am going in tomorrow for my retrieval, at which point they will also drain my buddy, the persistant cyst.

I will update after we get some news on Tuesday.

Thanks for for all the prayers and support, we are very appreciative of our family and friends that have been so encouraging and helpful. We love you!...This doesn't mean you stop praying though ;)

(12/11)Saturday's appointment summary:

E2: 695

Follicles: 5

Prolactin: .5





(12/12)Sunday's appointment summary:

E2: 1042

Follicles: 6 :)

Prolactin: .5

Weather Forecast, Sunny with a Chance of Rain

Well, the cyst is STILL growing and I am on "pelvic rest" because of it. In spite of that cyst, my ovaries are still hard at work...well, my right one is anyway...ol' lefty seems to be slacking a bit. Righty has the cyst and the most follis, with 3 definate and several with the potential to mature in time. While lefty, on the other hand only has 2 and we didn't see any additional potentials on the the ultra sound. No sweat, if I can get maybe two more to mature in addition to the 3 already on the right, I will be satisfied. Now, these numbers are quite low for your typical lady, but since I already have high FSH, it is pretty good to have this number :) I was pretty stressed that I would go in and have them say, OUCH, not today, go ahead and stop meds...I am quite happy to be proceeding :) We added the Ganerelix (SP??) last night. That med is to make sure I DO NOT ovulate prematurely. My estrogen is rising and my progesterone is not, so all good news there. Of course, still a chance that we would not be able to retrieve, just depends on how high my estrogen gets, but hopefully it will keep climbing :D

My next appointment is Saturday morning in Birmingham for an u/s and bloodwork, just to monitor my progress. If everything pans out, I will be back in Montgomery for an appointment Monday-ish and then Wednesday-ish retrieve!

E2: 318
Progesterone: .4
Follis: 5

Knee-deep in needles

I started shooting up on Sunday and yeah, we're pretty much pros already :) We have it down to an art. My alarm goes off at 5:30 and we get the goods out and start mixing away. Roberto actually mixes the shots (don't judge us) and I admininister. I'm only on two injectables right now and then Thursday at my appointment it will be determined if I am having a good response to the meds or not. I do still have a cyst, but since my hormone levels are the best they have been to date and this pesty little cyst is here to stay, the doc decided to proceed and we're down with that :) Oh, I had about 15 potential follicles...that we could see. It is possible that a few more were hiding behind my BFF (cyst). I have to have at least 6 to retrieve, so wish me luck...you know what, don't wish me luck! Prayers, now that is what we need. Luck never has been my thing...

E2: 32.6

FSH: 13.5 **less than 14, YAY!!!

Potential folli: 15

Cyst: 5.4cm :(

Plan B

So look, I'm not much of a "Plan A" kinda person. I'm more into the whole "Plan B' thing, so that is what we are going to do, Plan B, it is referred to as the Antagonist Protocal. I haven't heard anything about this option until yesterday when I was looking on other blogs and forums to see what other IVFer's experiences have been.
Instead of going on birth control for 24 days and then Lupron for 2 weeks, I will go straight to my stimulation medication (gonal-f & menopur) and then a few days later add ganirelix to the mix to supress ovulation until the fabulous follis are good and ripe! When they are on the verge of perfection I will take an hcg trigger shot to make me ovulate about 36 hours later and do a retrieval...assuming I even get to that point. I have read that there is a lower pregnancy rate, but I quickly closed out those blogs or forums...who wants to read that when you're already scraping the bottom of the barrell here...
But the GOOD websites noted that ladies like myself with a lower egg reserve have better ovarian response to this as opposed to the Lupron Protocol. I'm liking the idea of this. Anyways, I have never been so excited to start the ol' menses...
***this seriously needs to work! **SIGH**

Cycle Cancelled :(

Went for my suppression check yesterday and (3) cysts! Are you serious?!?!? one was 4.1 cm and two were around 1.1cm... The bloodwork revealed that my estrogen was high, 195 and it needs to be less than 100. Robert and I are super disappointed. My doc will meet with my IVF nurse today along with three other doctors in the office to review patience and at this time they will discuss the best option for me. I should get a call this evening or Friday, I'm expecting Friday.

I was sooo pumped too. I thought for sure that this was it and one way or the other I could put all of this behind me before the new year. That is just not going to be the case. I was sooo sad yesterday that I just cried, like the big fat, juicy tears. Unfortunately it was Wednesday and we had to go on with church meetings. This was probably a blessing, simply because I wasn't able to sit home and mope and feel sorry for myself. I had to move on and try not to dwell on it. I did find myself thinking about it while people were talking to me throughout the night, like not even listening to what they were saying just looking at them while being in a totally different place. They must have observed a glazed look on my face, haha. Oh well, I guess.
Today I can look at this and recognize that it is not over, it is just, yet another bump in the road for us. At least it had better not be over, these meds MUST be used and shall not be wasted!!!!
One other note, I have the best, most supportive friend! She is willing to listen to me cry and go on and on about this whole ordeal, and yet she never gives me a hard time or blows me off. She is always there when I need her the most, lifting my spirits and reminding me how strong I am...
...Thanks Lisa! Love you girl ;)

OUCH!

We came home to this lovely gift over the weekend....kind of intimidating, huh...

Update

Drain 2 more cysts - CHECK!

Receive meds - CHECK!

Start injections - CHECK!

Started Lupron injections yesterday and I will take my last birth control on Thursday. We are in full-swing here people! I got a good cry in as a result of receiving a narcotic in addition to the Versed for my cyst drain...I don't do well with narcotics. As soon as it hit the ol' vain the tears began to flow, but I must say I felt quite relieved afterwards and have felt so ever since. I think I needed a good irrational cry before beginning.

Taking a P90X break :'(

I am following all of the doctor's orders and recommendations, including avoiding strenuous exercise. I am still doing the warm-ups, stretching and lots of walking with Robert... How did I get so lucky?!?! I might change my tune in a week or so when I am undeniably hormonal and hating everyone within a 50 mile radius...but I'm sure that deep within that cold heart of mine I will still be appreciative of him :)

I am to continue on Lupron until my supression check which is to take place on 11/3

**praying for good results**

What next?

What a day! I have been dreading going to the doctor this month partially because I have come to expect, "not this month" and partially because I dread that magic wand that the nurses seem to think is SO magical that the...victim doesn't seem to feel a thing during the most uncomfortable week of the month...psh! I must say that even though I somewhat expected something negative, I did not expect Sarah (the most awesome nurse, even though she is not the best with the "wand") to tell me I have (2) cysts! Yes, two rediculously large cysts that enjoy ruining my month. One is on the Right, this is the same side that I had one drained last month, it was 4.7 cm. And ol' lefty was a runner-up with a delightful 2.4cm cyst.

The cysts are not going to hold me back this month. I proceed with birth control to start my IVF cycle and then add Lupron injections to the mix later in my cycle. Hopefully this will get rid of my cycsts. If not, no problemo! If the two pests are still present during my supression check, then they will go ahead and drain them before I start my stimulation injections so we should still be able to proceed and have decent results...hopefully!

I will receive my IVF cycle calendar early next week and then go over everything with Janet. I am excited...again :) This is quite the rollercoaster... but I am ready to take, what hopefully, will be my last ride before retiring.

A New Day

I saw this beautiful sunrise while driving to my sister's house...it gave me hope.

When a good day becomes a great day in the wonderful world of infertility

So it goes, Robert is generally right about...almost everything! Just this morning we were discussing this recent cyst and how we hope we get results soon and blah, blah, blah. Well, I made the comment that I don't feel good about this at all and was expressing (pesimistically) that this probably wouldn't turn out good...blah, blah, blah. Well, as usual he is so encouraging and optimistic when I need it most =D He said that we always seem to have bumps along the way but with our experience we have yet to receive bad news, just potentially bad news. Right he is! The nurse just called and let me know that the fluid is consistant with cyst fluid. This is wonderful news! It is paying off to be patient, I guess. Assuming my hormone levels continue to cooperate, we will be overwhelmed with needles and meds in less than a month. Who gets excited about this junk, I mean really, who does that!?!?!

Drain Cyst, CHECK!

My appointment was at 7:15 am in the Birmingham office to drain the cyst and everything went well. The cyst was about the same circumference as a coke can, YIKES! The fluid was suppose to be clear, but was thick and greenish-yellow, not good. She gave some official name for it that neither Robert, nor myself can remember. But basically she suspects that it is a benign tumor growing that is stemming from inside my ovary. They will run some tests on the fluid to verify her theory and I should get results Monday or Tuesday on that. We are hopeful that it is a tumor like the pituitary gland, meaning it is not =D If it in fact is they will have to perform surgery after all by doing an incision in my ovary and removing the growth. They are not able to stimulate that ovary at all with medication until they find out the status of the growth. This is just one more thing to stress me out, kind of a bummer but at the same time I'm glad they are doing something to help the situation move along. This post probably sounds quite scattered when being read, Istill feel a bit loopy from the meds earlier, so I'll blame that...I'll update again when the results come in.

No Surgery =D

I had my "Baselines" done on Tuesday September, 7th (day 4) and the results are quite satisfying. My FSH is down from a 17.2 to a 12.4. What is the deal with my fluctuation here?!?! Regardless, it is lower now and I am satisfied...Also, my prolactin is down from a 30 to a 10, thanks to Bromocriptine Mesylate. I am taking 1.25 mg twice daily and it seems to be doing the trick. The reason for my high prolactin is that I have Hyperprolactinemia...sounds so official. The bad news is that the cyst is still alive and well, totally covering my ovary and invading my reproductive organs, RUDE! The good news is that contrary to what I have been prepared for by nurses, the el doctair is satisfied with simply draining the cyst...this works for me... She even said that tomorrow works and will be scheduled by my nurse...*sigh* Sooo assuming that we can in fact schedule this for tomorrow, I should be cyst free by the weekend! Only a hormonally challenged individual such as myself can get excited over something like this. This procedure is not surgical and is simply done in their office while I am sedated by medication given through an IV. I cannot express how excited I am to have this news today. Assuming all goes well and my hormones continue to cooperate we might be on our way to IVF next month... Finally some progress.
In other news, I'm pretty happy with this ol' journey we call life...quite the adventure! :D

MRI Results ... and pure randomness

I have been cleared of having a tumor! Yay! The only thing I was concerned about was the fact that she said everything looked normal at the pituitary gland and BRAIN...I just find that hard to believe, after all I have always thought that my brain was functioning a bit better than "normal" =)

My medication to lower my prolactin levels has been switched from Cabergoline to Parlodel. The new medicine does not have the same side effects for me...thank goodness! I couldn't function twice a week when I was taking the other medicine where as now I am tired and drowsy, but I think I will still be able to work. Garsh! I will be so glad when this is over... after I do IVF, I am so done monitoring my hormones, in fact I don't even want the word mentioned around me...it will be considered a curse word in my presence!

We are now just waiting until day 1 so I can get my baselines, ultra sound and prolactin checked again....I just want to proceed already

Kindergarten Cop

Remember in Kindergarten Cop when Arnold Schwarzenegger said, "It's not a tuma"...well, that's what I keep telling myself...
Due to my high prolactin, Dr. Honea has ordered an MRI so I can be checked for a tumor on the Pituitary Gland. I'm pretty stressed out, but at the same time, I'm fine with it...like everything will be fine, I guess I feel comforted...that's the word I was looking for. It just seems like all of this is happening in slow motion. Almost like I'm on the outside looking in, watching these events transpire. There's nothing I can do but watch it all happen...
I don't even know for sure yet... My appointment is Wednesday morning at 8 am so we shall see...

And so it begins...

After making the decision to do IVF I have kept a journal of all of the appointments we have had up to this point, regardless of how important. Most of which are part of the IVF protocol preparation process. The others are just little hemorrhoids that pop up and interfere with our ability to proceed.





7/1/10 Consultation Ready to begin this process in sort of a dreadful way...





7/8/10 Test Results Prolactin was .2 high, must redo blood work...the nurse actually said this could be a tumor on my pituitary gland...who says that to a patient without knowing, I mean, really!





7/13/10 Fasting, Baselines, Semen Analysis, Ultrasound, Prolactin, Sign Paperwork





7/13/10 Test Results Large cyst on right ovary, blood work was normal





7/20/10 SIS - B'ham "Beautiful Uterus", passed out on the table when the ol' dr pulled out the catheter, I thought she was fly fishin' the way she yanked it! :'(





7/23/10 Janet (IVF Nurse) Denied Shared Risk due to high FSH and abnormal Clomid Challenge Results...OUCH! Sad day for us...not sure why we weren't made aware of this issue earlier on.





7/26/10 DR. Honea (phone) My new diagnosis is Hidden Ovary Problem, what is that!!???!!


This was not previously explained, we are in shock...but we must press on for closure!





7/26/10 Janet Review IVF Calendar, WOW at my to-do list, could be overwhelming, but not for us...we've go this! =)





7/27/10 Calendar Item Last day on Birth Control, fabulous for the skin





7/28/10 Baselines Cyst is still there and the same size, had a uterine culture





?? Janet Must complete b/c pkg., wait until day 1 and determine proceedings after baselines and ultrasound

?? Phone Call Uterine culture results are in, Uterine infection!!! Can it get any worse?!?!? Super antibiotic for 7 days and then repeat uterine culture... Is it just me or is this a bit ridiculous??

8/9/10 Baselines Persistent little cyst! Still creepin' around the ol' righty. No surgery for us...yet, we have opted to do one more month of b/c to try and shrink her. On the positive side, at least I will continue to have fantastic skin. haha. Just call me Prophetess Mary, because my prediction is that surgery is in the near future for me, just a huntch!!! So, my FSH is 17.4 OUCH! and my prolactin is upto 34 sooo, just waiting to hear from my doctor after she reviews it to see what our next step is...

But until we talk to "Doctor Can't Figure Out What is Wrong with ME", we are on HOLD until next month and then I'll likely schedule surgery. Allow for one cycle recovery time and then we can do IVF...assuming there are no more bumps in the road for us. So in the beginning, being optimistic (I've since learned from that mistake) I thought we'd know if I could host a parasite by the end of August, now we're looking at like mid-October before even doing IVF...Have I ever mentioned how very impatient I am or is that even necessary....

Who said we weren't adventurous

I have decided to create this blog for journal purposes in tracking my fertility treatment. I hope that this will allow me to express myself in a sort of therapeutic way during this crazy journey we are about to embark.

Robert and I have been trying to conceive since June of 2005. Never did we think this would be an issue for us, after all we were perfectly healthy with no infertility history between our families. WOW, were we in for a rude awakening! Up to this point we have done lots of testing and procedures to the point that getting poked with a needle is like taking a shower for me, just part of my routine. I have been diagnosed with endometriosis (mild to moderate), for which the doctors have performed 2 surgeries. I was put on Clomid for 3 months for initial testing purposes by my gynecologist and then were referred to a specialist. She then put me on Clomid for one month for a "Clomid Challenge Test" and then we made the decision to step it up a notch and pursue more in depth testing and procedures. I have had 2 rounds of Clomid and IUI's and 4 rounds of Follistem with IUI's. The Follistem is an FSH injectable and is likely to have fantastic results, but not so much for me. We were still unable to conceive so we/I really needed a break from the meds and time to seriously consider our remaining options. 1st option is to pursue IVF, which is quite pricey and there are still no guaranteed results. 2nd option is to adopt which is considerably less expensive, but ... well, that's just not an option for us until we have tried everything we can.

Robert and I both are on the same page with all of this and it has never been an issue, just a matter of when do we want to go forward. Robert has been very sweet and supportive. He and I both want our own biological children, like most people but at the same time understand that it just might not be in the cards for us, considering recent test results. Our decision to proceed with IVF came after much prayer and cosideration until we both felt 100% comfortable that this is the time for us to tackle this challenge. Know that this is the right time for us does not in any way translate to we have received divine revelation that we will conceive a child through this process, but rather that we need this to be able to have closure in knowing that we have tried everything we can and in turn be able to move on with our lives. Wow! That sounds terrible, "move on with our lives"...but it is so true, at some point you have to just call it and accept that maybe its not meant to be...sad.

I guess for me having a child is that one thing I've always wanted, always dreampt of. Having the experience of seeing the two lines on a pregnancy test, sharing the news with my family, being sick and irritable, feeling that first kick, getting fat and knowing that my body will never be the same and know that WE created this being, together. That is a desire I have had since I was a young girl... but some dreams just can't come true. This is the reality that we are currently facing. I understand that we haven't even been through IVF yet, but being through what I have already experienced with trying and having the disappointment month after month, it kind of starts to take that little bit of spirit and excitement away, the thrill just isn't quite what it once was. Blah... I could go on and on and it would all sound like the pesemistic ramble that it is =)

Anyways, here we go...on an unexpected adventure together, completely dependant on each other for comfort and strength. I am eternally grateful for such an amazingly supportive husband that provides me with the strength that I would never otherwise be able find within myself.