I am getting
sooo excited about this baby coming. We have been waiting for this time in our lives for so long and now here we are experiencing the fun, excitement and anticipation of a growing family. BUT I am finding out that being pregnant involves a lot more than toting a growing baby...
I have been REALLY emotional lately
I had to fight back tears when Valerie and
Lanell took me to get a crib, thinking about it now makes me almost cry.
My doctor asked me if we had a name, and me being ridiculous, thought he actually was interested so I told him the name and then he checked it off his list. Seriously?!?! Fake it doc, look at me and pretend to care! It hurt my feelings, I wish I would have just said, yes and not been specific with him. I am not a fan of my
insensitive doctor right now.
I have pretty much nagged Robert about making plans for the future, like HELLO why hasn't he thought of all the details I have been considering. These conversations generally end up with me crying. I'm sure that when I approach him with, "we need to have a talk" he cringes and the thought of what craziness I am going to come up with this time just causes a haze to settle over him. I have to give it to him though, he generally entertains me with some sort of comforting response, he typically knows the right thing to say.
Thinking about it now, I
pity him for having to put up with my mood swings.
Don't get me wrong, I totally recognize how outrageous my emotions are, but at the same time it is how I feel. I am not generally a
cryer, but these past two-weeks have been quite the
roller coaster. Thanks Robert, for not making me feel crazy, I know it must cross your mind, "I hope this isn't
permanent".
What is up with my sleep schedule?
I am not really tired lately. Before I got pregnant I was in bed by 9:30 sharp! Now I am awake until 11pm! Everynight! Sometimes I will wake up around 3am and be completely awake and ready to start my day, but force myself back to sleep so I can function at work later. I come home from work and am ready to chores. Last night I was mopping at 10:00, what is this all about?!?! Robert was trying to convince me to lay down and get some rest. I said initially that I'm not tired, but I am tired, I just don't want to waste my time sleeping when I could be doing something productive. Then when I finally do lay down my back feels like it is being pulled apart at my waist, dramatic? yeah, but that really is how it feels until I finally relax. I guess that is why Robert tries to convince me to go to bed early, he doesn't want to be rubbing my back at 11:00 :P
Dare I talk about being a stay-at-home mom...
This is what I have always wanted, to be a stay-at-home mommy just like my mom was. There is nothing I appreciate more than the time my mom spent, her life completely dedicated to her children and making sure we were all taken care of and always being there for us. Since I was little, I loved it and have wanted the same for my children. Well, here I am with only 3.5 months left until that journey begins for me. Let's not tip-toe around it, I am terrified! For sooo many reasons. let me share a few...
I LOVE my job!
I do not like change and no longer working here is going to be quite the change...we wll get into all of the other changes to come as they come ;)
I will no longer be contributing to the family financially.
and with each of these listed reasons has fears attached to them like am I going to be bored, am I going to enjoy being at home every day, how are we going to adjust to our new budget. Like I said a lot of fears and this is what Robert has to hear on a regular basis, and no I will not translate what "regular basis" means :P
Anyways, I just hope that I am good at being a mommy and I hope that it is satisfying. Only time will tell...
All apologies, this turned into Deep Thoughts with MB...
Next post will be a simple picture and update :D