Plan B

So look, I'm not much of a "Plan A" kinda person. I'm more into the whole "Plan B' thing, so that is what we are going to do, Plan B, it is referred to as the Antagonist Protocal. I haven't heard anything about this option until yesterday when I was looking on other blogs and forums to see what other IVFer's experiences have been.
Instead of going on birth control for 24 days and then Lupron for 2 weeks, I will go straight to my stimulation medication (gonal-f & menopur) and then a few days later add ganirelix to the mix to supress ovulation until the fabulous follis are good and ripe! When they are on the verge of perfection I will take an hcg trigger shot to make me ovulate about 36 hours later and do a retrieval...assuming I even get to that point. I have read that there is a lower pregnancy rate, but I quickly closed out those blogs or forums...who wants to read that when you're already scraping the bottom of the barrell here...
But the GOOD websites noted that ladies like myself with a lower egg reserve have better ovarian response to this as opposed to the Lupron Protocol. I'm liking the idea of this. Anyways, I have never been so excited to start the ol' menses...
***this seriously needs to work! **SIGH**

Cycle Cancelled :(

Went for my suppression check yesterday and (3) cysts! Are you serious?!?!? one was 4.1 cm and two were around 1.1cm... The bloodwork revealed that my estrogen was high, 195 and it needs to be less than 100. Robert and I are super disappointed. My doc will meet with my IVF nurse today along with three other doctors in the office to review patience and at this time they will discuss the best option for me. I should get a call this evening or Friday, I'm expecting Friday.

I was sooo pumped too. I thought for sure that this was it and one way or the other I could put all of this behind me before the new year. That is just not going to be the case. I was sooo sad yesterday that I just cried, like the big fat, juicy tears. Unfortunately it was Wednesday and we had to go on with church meetings. This was probably a blessing, simply because I wasn't able to sit home and mope and feel sorry for myself. I had to move on and try not to dwell on it. I did find myself thinking about it while people were talking to me throughout the night, like not even listening to what they were saying just looking at them while being in a totally different place. They must have observed a glazed look on my face, haha. Oh well, I guess.
Today I can look at this and recognize that it is not over, it is just, yet another bump in the road for us. At least it had better not be over, these meds MUST be used and shall not be wasted!!!!
One other note, I have the best, most supportive friend! She is willing to listen to me cry and go on and on about this whole ordeal, and yet she never gives me a hard time or blows me off. She is always there when I need her the most, lifting my spirits and reminding me how strong I am...
...Thanks Lisa! Love you girl ;)

OUCH!

We came home to this lovely gift over the weekend....kind of intimidating, huh...

Update

Drain 2 more cysts - CHECK!

Receive meds - CHECK!

Start injections - CHECK!

Started Lupron injections yesterday and I will take my last birth control on Thursday. We are in full-swing here people! I got a good cry in as a result of receiving a narcotic in addition to the Versed for my cyst drain...I don't do well with narcotics. As soon as it hit the ol' vain the tears began to flow, but I must say I felt quite relieved afterwards and have felt so ever since. I think I needed a good irrational cry before beginning.

Taking a P90X break :'(

I am following all of the doctor's orders and recommendations, including avoiding strenuous exercise. I am still doing the warm-ups, stretching and lots of walking with Robert... How did I get so lucky?!?! I might change my tune in a week or so when I am undeniably hormonal and hating everyone within a 50 mile radius...but I'm sure that deep within that cold heart of mine I will still be appreciative of him :)

I am to continue on Lupron until my supression check which is to take place on 11/3

**praying for good results**

What next?

What a day! I have been dreading going to the doctor this month partially because I have come to expect, "not this month" and partially because I dread that magic wand that the nurses seem to think is SO magical that the...victim doesn't seem to feel a thing during the most uncomfortable week of the month...psh! I must say that even though I somewhat expected something negative, I did not expect Sarah (the most awesome nurse, even though she is not the best with the "wand") to tell me I have (2) cysts! Yes, two rediculously large cysts that enjoy ruining my month. One is on the Right, this is the same side that I had one drained last month, it was 4.7 cm. And ol' lefty was a runner-up with a delightful 2.4cm cyst.

The cysts are not going to hold me back this month. I proceed with birth control to start my IVF cycle and then add Lupron injections to the mix later in my cycle. Hopefully this will get rid of my cycsts. If not, no problemo! If the two pests are still present during my supression check, then they will go ahead and drain them before I start my stimulation injections so we should still be able to proceed and have decent results...hopefully!

I will receive my IVF cycle calendar early next week and then go over everything with Janet. I am excited...again :) This is quite the rollercoaster... but I am ready to take, what hopefully, will be my last ride before retiring.

A New Day

I saw this beautiful sunrise while driving to my sister's house...it gave me hope.

When a good day becomes a great day in the wonderful world of infertility

So it goes, Robert is generally right about...almost everything! Just this morning we were discussing this recent cyst and how we hope we get results soon and blah, blah, blah. Well, I made the comment that I don't feel good about this at all and was expressing (pesimistically) that this probably wouldn't turn out good...blah, blah, blah. Well, as usual he is so encouraging and optimistic when I need it most =D He said that we always seem to have bumps along the way but with our experience we have yet to receive bad news, just potentially bad news. Right he is! The nurse just called and let me know that the fluid is consistant with cyst fluid. This is wonderful news! It is paying off to be patient, I guess. Assuming my hormone levels continue to cooperate, we will be overwhelmed with needles and meds in less than a month. Who gets excited about this junk, I mean really, who does that!?!?!